More thesis angst
April 28, 2008 by Janine
I don’t know where to start. Anytime I start thinking about my thesis, I get panicky. It is not a nice feeling, so I try to avoid it. I am very good at avoiding! I know that it will not get done on its own (damn it) and that in order to finish, I need to actually work on it. I also know that I spend way too much time in my head, worrying.
I realized just before I got sick that when I have written papers before, over those many years, I always did a lot of research early, then freaked out at the end, generally got an extension of a couple of days, and handed in a great paper. I did not write it in small steps, like they want. I wrote all over the place, on whatever caught my fancy, then I literally cut it out (pre-computer!!!) and created a paper out of the bits. I wrote connectors, edited it repeatedly, and I had a paper.
So I think I would be better off doing what has worked, versus continually hitting a roadblock immediately. Knowing I will get no help from my advisor is also a large impediment, but as many other people working on their theses have told me, you get your thesis done in spite of your advisor. Depressing and sad, but evidently true.
I am sick about talking about, writing about, thinking about and avoiding my thesis. I want my life back!
Which would require me to work on it. Now.
It’s gonna be okay.
It’s gonna be okay.
This suggestion is sort of a “little bit at a time” thing, but it seems to help me calm down at times like what you’re experiencing. I sit down at a specific time and say, “just one sentence. That’s all I’m going to write.” And if another one hops on the bus, great. If not, okay, it’ll just join our regularly scheduled program(me) later.
Then after hyperventilating, I write the one sentence — and it doesn’t have to be a good one, just one with a subject-verb-object. Often the second one insists that it won’t be left behind, so I put that one down too. Sometimes I get a whole paragraph.
Maybe that’ll help?
Listen to Lisa. Good luck.
My initial advice would be to just get drunk and forget about it. This however would be another form of avoidance and therefore would be counterproductive! So, do what worked for you in the past, Also, try to take some pressure off of yourself by enjoying the “now” rather then just focusing on the future when you will be done!!! I read that in a fortune cookie!!!!!