Well, I didn’t take Vlad’s advice (comments from last post) and get drunk, but I did take his another advice. I tend to listen to him and sometimes I think he even listens to me, but I am not sure he would admit it! So I have taken a bit of time to sort of my priorities, life etc and of course that is a never ending battle.

We are going to start selling at the new Comox Valley Crafters Market, starting this Saturday. We got a canopy and I laid out all our stock, and there is not a heck of a lot. I have sold more than I thought. So I spent a chunk of today sorting out the studio and will spent the next couple of days filling in the inventory holes. I found a glass bead I made ages ago and it is really nice. I do organic very well. I need to get back on the torch, as well as play with metal.

I went to Port Alberni with John and and then Parksville/Qualicum Beach with Mom, looking at thrift stores and such places. I have taken apart several watches, a camera, my old cell phone and tonight an old rotary phone. It is fun. John saw me surrounded by all the bits and said ” You are definitely your father’s daughter”. Yep, I love tools and dismembering things! Of course, my dad could put them back together again…

And I have been playing a computer game way too much. But I got a pedometer and walked 2727 steps today. That is 14 hours worth, anyway. The goal is 10 000 a day, so that will be a challenge!

It has been a weird week. I am not sure why, but something feels off and I am not sure what. Maybe all that sunshine is freaking me out!

This week’s Unconscious Mutterings:

1. State :: Official, funeral
2. Lively ::frenetic
3. Valet ::service
4. Traction ::snow tires
5. Official ::censure
6. Red hot ::Chili Peppers
7. Powder ::snow, blow
8. Replies ::CC, BCC
9. Flagrant ::delicto
10. Tweet::Roy Orbison

This is your brain.  This is your brain on crack.  Maybe I need to do some drugs because my brain is fuzzy and it is ridiculously free of mind altering substances (unless you count dog hair).

We have been watching the Riches and Wayne just had a crystal meth experience.  Some things you just want to (over)do.  It is a really good show and makes me realize that we watch an awful lot of downloaded programs, like Battlestar Galactica, Dexter, Weeds, that legal one with Glenn Close.  Because we only have basic cable.  Because John says there is nothing on the upper channels.  Obviously NOT!

I don’t know where to start.  Anytime I start thinking about my thesis, I get panicky.  It is not a nice feeling, so I try to avoid it. I am very good at avoiding!  I know that it will not get done on its own (damn it) and that in order to finish, I need to actually work on it.  I also know that I spend way too much time in my head, worrying.

I realized just before I got sick that when I have written papers before, over those many years, I always did a lot of research early, then freaked out at the end, generally got an extension of a couple of days, and handed in a great paper.  I did not write it in small steps, like they want.  I wrote all over the place, on whatever caught my fancy, then I literally cut it out (pre-computer!!!) and created a paper out of the bits.  I wrote connectors, edited it repeatedly, and I had a paper.

So I think I would be better off doing what has worked, versus continually hitting a roadblock immediately.  Knowing I will get no help from my advisor is also a large impediment, but as many other people working on their theses have told me, you get your thesis done in spite of your advisor.  Depressing and sad, but evidently true.

I am sick about talking about, writing about, thinking about and avoiding my thesis.  I want my life back!

Which would require me to work on it.  Now.

I borrowed this from Chocolate Syrup for the Soul:

Have you ever…
Bold the ones you’ve done…

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby’s diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog.
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Sword fought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten engaged
91. Been in a movie (Only if you count a home-movie!)
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn’t have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten married
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Gotten divorced
104. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything
108. Taken illegal drugs
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music (as long as it didn’t have to be good music)
112. Eaten shark..
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror..
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children.
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy.
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. …more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived.
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone’s heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol (all of ‘em)
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes.
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read,
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them (that would be John and not because we needed them)
183. …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts (many times)
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested.
200. Skipped an entire week of work without calling in, and without getting fired.

Add one thing you have done that is not on the list: Told a police officer to go &^%( himself (no, it was not my brother, he really deserved it and I did not get into trouble - although I was at work and people wondered why I was yelling…)

1. Thug :: Sluggo
2. Slurp :: Chevron (where John buys his addiction, slushies)
3. Alley :: Diagon (watching Harry Potter again)
4. Sweater vest :: British
5. Targeted :: surgical strike
6. Snazzy :: Be-jeweled
7. Oy! :: Olive (yes, I see it is Oy)
8. Jury duty :: disqualified
9. Low fat :: yogurt
10. Responsibility :: crushes

What exactly is a sweater vest? I have always wondered. I bet my grandfather wore them. This week it is HP and the Goblet of Fire. I wonder if Phoenix is on next week? I guess a new movie must be coming out soon. I have never been called for jury duty, but figured if it was anything to do with violence, I would be disqualified. Too much work with victims to be truly impartial, especially around sexualized and “domestic” violence.

I have been excavating my desk, in preparation of getting back to the thesis. It is due in just over a month, so time is very tight. I even renewed my library books! I decided earliet this week to dump the degree again, but after 10 minutes changed my mind. I just really want it done and that is going to take some self-discipline.

My thesis crew, watching me, always watching…

As always, I am being pulled in 2 directions. There is now a Comox Valley Crafters Market every Saturday at Millennium Park and I really would like to sell at it. However, I have some inventory, but not a ton. And the next month has to be completely thesis. Sigh. I suck at this balance thing. Of course, a thesis leaves little room for much else, especially when you leave it to the last minute… (and to be fair, keep getting sick!)

Molly had another seizure yesterday. She seems fine now, but it is stressful for all of us.

Okay, I am almost better, so I need to get on with life after AF. I have lots of pictures of lovely people and things and I am not going to post them. But here are a couple of shots of stuff I brought back

A mix of trades I love and things I bought. I hit several junk places and got good loot!

The picture in the middle with blue leaves is one of my fave things. It is a photograph by Robert Buelteman, whose work I absolutely adore. If you like photography, you need to go look at his website. It is astounding what he does! I was lucky enough to spend some time with his amazing wife, Julie, who is a terrific artist herself!

I somehow managed to win a raffle prize at ArtFest. I guess it is not that bizarre, since I bought tickets! However, it is a $100 gift certificate for any Golden product. I think I am probably the only person at AF that said, huh? I had no idea what they made, because it is paints, mediums, gesso etc - stuff i never use. The products are gorgeous, lovely colours. But I am metal/glass chick…

I am thinking of selling it, so if you like Golden and want a deal, let me know…

Oh, and I signed up for classes at Art & Soul Portland

]]> http://paperwhite.wordpress.com/2008/04/24/last-artfest-post-really/feed/ Janine AF stuff more AF stuff Golden http://paperwhite.wordpress.com/2008/04/20/bath-time-and-corrupting-innocents/ http://paperwhite.wordpress.com/2008/04/20/bath-time-and-corrupting-innocents/#comments Mon, 21 Apr 2008 03:27:26 +0000 Janine http://paperwhite.wordpress.com/?p=208

And from last night, a story in pictures.

Haley really likes pear cider now…

1. Questioning :: authority
2. Immunity :: from prosecution
3. Online dating :: seems to work???
4. Calcium :: deficiency
5. Dressing :: French
6. Bucket :: hat
7. Stain :: Away
8. Advanced :: degree
9. Dramatic :: results
10. Self-medication :: has its points…

And the things on my mind tonight, as I edit my blogroll and bookmark list. I am watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Oops, here come the Dementors!

As always, pop culture comes into my UM. I think the advertising world does a very good job of drilling catch phrases into us. I have never used or contemplated buying Stain Away, and yet there it is! French dressing - I had salad for dinner and it is still sitting in front of me (although it was balsamic vinaigrette…)

I am contemplating some self-medication - I have some cider in the fridge and may just indulge, since this head cold is sitting, unmoving. Maybe alcohol will budge it? I have peppermint schnapps in the freezer too… And I made chocolate/peanut butter/mini marshmallow squares. I have not had them since, what, 1983? Maybe booze, chocolate and a hot bath would do the trick!

On the last night, there was a show and tell, in which anyone could enter their piece(s). It was fabulous, but too many people, and way too hot for me to hang around long. It was an excellent opportunity to check out classes and teachers. There were several classes I would definitely take now, and others I would not bother with. This is just a very small selection!

Okay, here I am. I am still sick, but getting better. Slowly, I am working through my AF pictures.

I came across Artfest in a rather round about way, for someone who has spent a decent amount of arty time in Port Townsend, and has shopped Zettiology for years. I found the website in January, and immediately checked to see if there was space. The Keith Lo Bue class, Precious Little, had space, and although it was 3 days long and I had never heard of Keith, it felt like a perfect fit. I jumped on it.

As time got closer to AF, I started to worry about what we would actually DO. And worse, what tools to take. I had looked at the supply list, and it is huge, mostly because you take what interests you. So I packed about 80 lbs worth of stuff. I ended up using my jewelers saw, bench vise, bench pin, bench block, and some hand tools and that was it. I forgot my drill, but borrowed one.

I am not going to try and explain exactly what we did in class, but it was a combination of lecture, demos, and making things. Day one was making a wearable object out of three items. It was a challenge to figure out connections, when I am so used to being able to solder or at least wire things together. I was not thrilled with what I came up with, but I think in a whole new way, which is all you can really ask for from a class!

On day 2 and three, we moved on to make whatever we wanted, with an autobiographical theme. It took me all 2 days, with many changes along the way, but this is what I came up with:

The pendant is a piece of copper hardware, with a bone face inset into a copper bezel that I riveted on. Under this layer is a computer circuit board on one side (riveted on), and a watch face on the other (pegged with rebar wire). I screwed the top piece down to another piece of copper.

I stamped out the words “wisdom”, “live” and “love” on brass tags I cut and wired them to the front of the copper hardware. I would normally patina the brass and shiny copper, but have not done that yet. I made a rebar wire loop and hung the pendant off a silver heishi and rebar wire neck piece.

I like how it turned out. The autobiographical aspect is pretty evident, I think. Computer - insulin pump, clock - foreshortened future, the words come from my favourite quote. I think I should call it “Mechanical me(n)tal me” but I suck at naming things!

An idea of the depth

And the back.

]]> http://paperwhite.wordpress.com/2008/04/18/keith-lobue-class/feed/ Janine vendor night Keith at Vendor night LoBue Class LoBue class Artfest pendant AF detail AF 2 side view